


Secrets

by oanja



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, Masturbation Fantasy, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 12:16:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11600463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oanja/pseuds/oanja
Summary: Ronan has a lot of secrets





	Secrets

Ronan has a lot of secrets. Some are important and dangerous, some stupid and insignificant. When it comes to this secret Ronan’s not sure which category it belongs to.

He’s laying in bed, hand on his cock and thinking about Adam. Adam with his dust colored hair and pale watery eyes. Hands that are always rough from working so fucking hard and no matter how hard he tries to wash himself clean, engine oil under his fingernails.

Ronan shifts his hips and pumps up into his tight fist, the lube easing the way and making the motion feel even more dirty and illicit.

It’s embarrassing to admit even to himself, but Ronan doesn’t think there’s even the slightest detail about Adam he hasn’t committed to memory. The rare smiles and laughs, always thanks to Gansey. The way he tilts his head when he’s talking to Noah. That fucking stupid besotted look he get’s in his eyes when he’s talking about that Sargent girl.

Ronan grits his teeth and refuses to think about that.

No this is his fantasy and in it, Adam looks at him like that. Ronan imagines taking Adam to the Farm with him, showing him all its wonders and fucked up corners. Showing Adam his most well hidden weaknesses and Adam taking all of them in, understanding them and keeping them safe.

Ronan uses his lubed up hand and pushes two fingers into his hole. He has to bite his lip, this part is always the best and the worst. Ronan shudders with the shame and excitement. ‘Faggot, faggot’ the small voice inside his head crows and Ronan bares his teeth in a ‘fuck you’ grimace.

He turns on his stomach, knees bent and almost chokes on his laughter, thinking about someone walking into his room right then. The laughter turns into a moan, that Ronan muffles against his pillow as this angle lets him reach his prostate.

And what if it was Adam, who walked in on this? Adam in this fantasy wouldn’t freak out, no, Adam would have thought about this too, would just close the door and walk to Ronan’s bed and climb in.

He would touch Ronan with those calloused fingers, so nimble and strong. Press them into Ronan’s shoulders, trace his tattoo, every whorl and loop, down, down his back, until he’s touching Ronan where Ronan’s desperate to be touched.

“Adam,” Ronan whispers and feels himself flush, fuck he’s pathetic, but no, this is his secret and he won’t ruin it for himself. Not tonight.

Adam would drape himself over Ronan’s back and lean close to whisper, “Let me?” and of course Ronan would let him.

Ronan’s seen Adam’s dick a few times when all of them went skinny dipping, but never hard. He imagines it would lengthen nicely, push into him too quick, fill him up to the brim. Adam would be a wreck, panting into Ronan’s ear and mumbling about how good it felt and how much he loved Ronan.

Ronan closes his eyes and jerks his cock a few more times, his balls drawing up and his whole body tensing with the imminent orgasm. After he’s spent, Ronan pulls the dildo out with a grimace and throws it on the floor.

He flops on his back and wipes his sticky fingers on the sheet. It need to be washed now anyway.

Ronan decides this secret is both stupid and dangerous. 

If anyone would ask his brother Declan he’d surely say stupid and dangerous are Ronan’s favourite things, so it almost makes sense in the grand scheme of things.

Loving Adam might turn out to be pointless, but there were those moments, however fleeting, when Ronan was sure Adam was looking back at him and that was a start. It was enough, for now.


End file.
